Fun Things to do at Garuda

For all you non-Bangaloreans, Garuda is one of the biggest malls and definitely funnest in Bangalore.

Here's my list of funnest things to do in Garuda.

Go to the 5th floor, and jump over the railing. There's that safety net just over the ground floor, so you won't suffer any physical harm. I'm guessing the feeling is better than bungee jumping, because, for one thing, there's no cord attached to your ankle. I'm betting you can do this at least twice before getting chucked out.

Everytime you go into Garuda or Inox, when the security guard's checking you're bag, say "nehi, bhai, nehi, andar bomb hai!"(Don't, bro, don't, there's a bomb inside!").I've heard you can be chucked in jail for this, but those security guys usually just smile, go on checking and say something very witty in Hindi, which is very sad, because I can't understand it.

Buy a nice scary costume(preferably glow-in-the-dark), like a skeleton with fangs or something, go into scary house, go a bit inside, change into the costume, and go around with a plastic knife, scaring the shit out of those guys dressed up as ghosts, demons and what not.
(I'm really planning to do this sometime, but lack of a good skelly costume prevents me from doing so...If you're gonna do this, all I ask is that you have a friend with you who can videotape the whole thing.)

Sit on one of the benches on the ground floor and rate the babes passing by...This works best when you have a friend with you. Yeah, I know its sexist, but then, no one's keeping girls from doing the same thing to guys, so...
(All credit to this goes to Mario and Vicario)

Go to Inox, sit at the back, and when the lights dim just when the movie starts, scream "Blind! Blind!" or do a really blood-curdling scream if you can. This always gets a few laughs or chuckles. For some reason though, it doesn't work in PVR and Innovative, probably because the people there are too snobby and too dumb respectively.

Go to the elevator, go to the guy inside and tell him,"5th floor".On the way, pretend to have an argument with your friend over whether you really want to go to the 5th floor. Just when the doors open, tell the guy, "no no no, Ground floor only". Repeat this twice or thrice. This works best on weekday mornings, when there aren't many people around. The best part is, technically, you're not doing anything wrong.

This one is a joke on that lingerie store in the 1st/2nd floor. I'm calling it the lingerie store, because I keep forgetting what its called. Get a pic of a dog or a cat standing on its hind legs, photoshop ladies' underwear and that lingerie store logo in the corner and take a glossy print-out. Go to the store with a friend, show them the pic and rant and scream about cruelty to animals, PETA, SPCA and the Bangalore Mirror. Make sure they don't have the time to think. Just do it and get the hell outa there. I'm pretty sure this has some legal effects, so...

Go to Amoeba. See those Air Hockey tables?

This is an Air Hockey table

Lots of people never play till the puck goes into one of the goals. they just leave it on the table when they're time runs out. Wht you have to do is wait till someone actually comes to play, and just before they reach the table, start playing with your friend WITHOUT putting cash in it. If you and your friend are good enough (or bad enough) to play without scoring, you can piss of a lot of people. Remember, if one of you actually score a point, the puck stays inside till you put cash in, so DON't score any points.

If you're in the Food Court and its crowded, or even if you just feel like it, walk around the tables(with a friend), talking about really disgusting stuff like baby shit or vomiting mexican food or something else like it. You'll get a table for sure.

Watch a movie at Inox, and during the intermission, go to that place they sell popcorn and Coke and stuff. Make sure You're the first in line and your friend is behind you. Take a long time choosing("I'll have a...no, wait, mebbe a coke and..no, no cash, why not......") Meanwhile, the guy will try and take you friend's order. Make sure your friend does the same thing. Do this for exactly 2 minutes and 20 seconds. Then order, and go back to your theatre. Since the intermissions are very short at Inox, this will make sure no one else in the line gets to order.

I'll update this list as and when I think of more.

edit: Woohoo! This post was published in the Bangalore Mirror! November 30th, Page 13.